The True Romance in Harry Potter You Probably Missed

Still on the couch gorging on cold holiday leftovers — swearing you’ll get to the gym — while surrendering to the family-friendly pagan world of Harry Potter marathons on TV? Same.

Except I know I’m going nowhere near the gym, so I have the kind of time to dissect an occult romance in movies that span the biggest young adult epic ever written.

It was around the seventh hour into my Rowling-fueled odyssey — about midway through Goblet of Fire — that I noticed something subtle, yet colossal staring me straight in the face:

The true love story in the series lies between Harry and Ron. Between the chemistry, intimacy, and cathartic quarreling, no other couple holds a candle to these two.

Before you fans start throwing rotten cabbage, you’ll be happy to know that this observation does not negate Ron and Hermione’s connection — however polarizing among fans it may be, especially since J.K. Rowling lamented that the real romance should have been between Harry and Hermione. Even that’s rubbish, though, as through this new lens, it becomes clear that Hermione is actually Harry’s best friend.

With Harry Potter and the Cursed Child hitting the London stage, and people roused over Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (pulling in over $700M in worldwide box office since its release), revelations in Potter lore are still coming to light. The exposé of Dumbledore’s sexual orientation and the fact that Hogwarts is LGBT-friendly no doubt expanded the horizons of the wizardry world.

The legend is far from dead, and since the series is going to be rebooted by Hollywood someday anyway, why not reassess the interpersonal dynamics of our favorite hero wizards?

Romance is tricky in the Potter series. Maybe it’s for the better, since the main plotline deals with teenagers who learn magic and save the world all at the same time. Still, teenagers are hormonal and need some TLC too. But let’s face it, the sparks between these young flames — whether it’s Ron and Hermoine, Harry and Ginny, Harry and Cho, Cho and Cedric, Hermione and Viktor, Ron and Lavender, or Draco and himself — are about as hot as an Anakin-Padmé scene from Star Wars: Episode II.

Hermione and Ron are championed as the Hogwarts it-couple, yet it takes eight movies before they even have their first kiss, and three movies before we get to accidental hand-holding.

Where’s the real passion? With Harry and Ron, of course. While audiences pine over whether Hermione ends up with Harry or Ron, they miss the childhood love story that blossoms from Year One. Still skeptical? I’ll walk you through it, starting at the beginning, but mainly sticking to Goblet of Fire and The Deathly Hallows, hailed as the best among the eight films.

In the process, Ron ruins Hermione’s night with Viktor Krum. Is it because he’s jealous of Viktor Krum… or is it because he’s envious of Hermione? Earlier in the film, Ron clearly swoons over Krum’s athletic prowess at the Quidditch World Cup. Hermione calls out Ron’s cowardice, shouting, “Next time there’s a ball, pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does! And not as a last resort!” Even still, Ron doesn’t realize what a catch Hermione is, and didn’t even think to ask her in the first place. “That’s just completely off the point…” he tells her.

So there you have it. Hermoine is the best friend a guy can have, and the most volatile chemistry in the Potter saga exists between Harry and Ron. Why didn’t this romance ever get a chance to truly blossom? Blame it on heteronormativity, or the traditionalism of the Weasley’s, or the only glimmer of homosexuality in Hogwarts thus far residing entirely with Dumbledore (honestly, are we really buying that Cedric was straight?) In the end, they’re the best love triangle that ever graced fantasy cinema.

Besides, Harry and Ron are in-laws now, and because of that — they’ll live happily ever after.

Writer 💀 Fiction/Nonfiction